MEN ONLY
Hey, come on in. Grab a beverage and some pizza then pull up a La-Z-Boy.
If you came here on your own, congratulations. If you’re here because your partner pushed you into it, double congratulations. That was a lot more practical than ignoring the suggestion and making things worse.
In fact, HAVE A QUICKIE is largely about being practical.
Think about it: for most of us, a happy home life is a major priority. Since you are reading this, I’ll assume that includes being happy in your relationship, whether you live together or may someday. Now some men put a lot of effort into the relationship, others have less, uh, energy for this goal. Either way, easier is more practical and it doesn’t get any easier than this!
Sure, you could improve things at home by bringing in more money or doing more housework, but these both take significant time and effort -- figure at least several hours per week – and still things could be rough.
In ten-minute doses, HAVE A QUICKIE requires only 30 to 50 minutes a week to create a happier home. Now that’s practical!
And yes, that does leave enough time to watch sports, wash cars and surf the web. But remember, none of these will ever really improve your relationship or make your life go better. Seriously, would your partner rather have you demonstrate the best plays from the Cowboys vs. Giants game, vacuum their floor mats or have you listen to them for five uninterrupted minutes?
And the truth is, you’re not just doing this for them.
One thing I have learned in ten years of leading men’s therapy groups is that the average guy actually wants to be better understood, particularly by his significant other. Sure, most of us would like the whole world to be more tuned in to how we think, but remember, we are being practical here.
So, are there times when you feel frustrated or alone because it is clear your partner has no clue what you are thinking? Do you wonder how they can be so unaware or insensitive? Well, have a quickie and this can change. Talk honestly about how you tick and you’ll take the guessing out of the equation.
Sure it might be a challenge at first. Eventually you will have to talk or, forgive the term, “open up” about your thoughts and your feelings – but only for five minutes at a time. From the practical perspective, this requires a lot less effort than living with loneliness and resentment. As you and your partner get more comfortable relating this way, you can move into the touchier subjects and work on improvements.
Finally, because I am sure some of you are wondering if there will be more sex, I will tell you now the answer is yes. Good communication does have that effect on a relationship. Just stay turned for future postings.
Meanwhile, thanks for hanging out. Now, feel free to watch some HD on the big screen. I think the playoffs are coming on.
Mark