Chore-Play
Has it taken this long for someone to come out with a study?
According to the Council on Contemporary Families, men who do chores get more sex. Do I hear a collective duh! from women across the country? Allow me to chime in. Duh! Duh! Super double, devil-dog duh!
My sexiest moment this month was when Mark sauntered into the bedroom, dishtowel swinging from his belt, swagger in his hips. I was snuggled up plowing through ATONEMENT, but when Mark gave me that come hither look and in a low, husky tone said, “Dishes are done,” I fell swoon. I dropped my book and pulled him close, sniffing his fingertips for rubbery smell of dishgloves and lemon-scented Joy–an aphrodisiac like no other.
This really is how it works, men. We want you to go out and do manly things. Hunt your woolly mammoths, shoot hoops, and prove yourselves in the world. But then come home and do the dishes. Don’t do it just to get more sex, but don’t be surprised when that happens.
Of course, while you’re filling the dishwasher or running the vacuum, we might not be home. We might be out in the world doing our own brave and important things. And that should be all the more incentive for you to notice the housework and pick up the Swifter. We’re all in this together now. There’s less his and hers than ever. Act like you’re above it, and you can just keep hanging out in the ranks of the resentfully un-laid.
Conversely, women, consider this. I spent hours shoveling my way through this past New England winter. The earliest riser in the family, I was often up before Mark and ready to greet all those blizzards with oversized skipants, an itchy hat and my ergonomically-balanced snow buster in hand. It wasn’t a blast, but I did it. And when I came in, you’d think from Mark’s face that I just hunted the woolly mammoth. Men appreciate it, too–when it’s not assumed that the division of labor should fall along some sexist lines.
Whether you realize it or not, sharing chores willingly is all part of the communication process. It’s telling your partner–if not in words, than in deed–that you are a full participant in the relationship and want to work together at all levels. It’s sexy. It’s appealing. And it’s also just dishes.
Get washing.