The Have a Quickie Blog

Here in New England, the denizens of Patriot nation remain in a dysfunctional state of disbelief after last night’s highly unexpected Super Bowl loss. We were so ready to feel great about ourselves and start bragging about the perfect season, but instead, we moped home from our Super Bowl parties, sad, confused, and numb.

Which leads me to think that sports fans, men in particular, REALLY need some better outlets for our emotions.  If that could be you, try asking  yourself a few questions:

-Does your team team losing cause you to toss and turn all night, replaying the game in your head thinking if they had only done that or maybe that…?

-Do you find that not winning the championship requires you to go through the stages of grief outlined by Kubler-Ross (e.g., Denial, Anger, Bargaining)?

Sometimes? Maybe? Yes? Then most likely something else is troubling you and you are channeling it into your despair over the Ravens, Reds, Rockets, or Red Wings.

As my wife will attest, I have died with the Red Sox and been re-born by the Patriots. I know what it means to care so passionately that every radio in the house is tuned to the 24-hour sports station. I have idolized David Ortiz, imitated Tom Brady, and worshipped Michael Jordan. So that’s not me sitting in judgment of the sports enthusiast or even certified sports nut. I am one.

However, I’ll ask you to think about this fact: Many men report that championship victories are as emotionally powerful as the birth of their children and more powerful than their weddings.  

Woah! If someone gets their greatest highs when their team wins and their deepest funks when their team loses, trades a favorite player, or suffers a devastating injury at a key position, then their emotions are simply the vicarious by-products of other people’s actions. And that’s just wrong. 

How about this instead: Go figure out what would really make you happy. More friends? Greater recognition at work? A spouse that can’t wait to seduce you? One that you want to seduce?

And what’s troubling you?  Would you like a better relationship with one of your parents? Have you chosen a career path away from your real interests? Are you just plain lonely or bored a lot of the time?  THESE are things to ask yourself when you are obsessing about the lineup for the next game or what team shirt you need to buy. 

And then you need to talk about this stuff with your significant other.  Sure you can tell them how bummed you are that Duke just creamed Wake Forest. Again. But push yourself to look at how the intensity of your caring about a relatively minor event may be covering up emotions about things that actually affect your life. Is Clemson’s national ranking really more important than your relationships with people in your family, or is it just easier to focus on because it’s NOT that important? Then you probably need to talk about the people in your family.  Talk about how a boss’ decision upset you rather than how a coach’s decision ruined your day.  And, please, get more excited about goofing around with your kids than about watching the 63^rd game of the regular season, regardless of who your team is up against.

Well, I hope this have given you some ideas to think on.  Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go take off my tear-stained Tedy Bruschi jersey and put on my Paul Pierce pajamas before I go to bed. I hope we all get some sleep tonight.